A little talk with myself.

I was talking to my friend and one thing hit me during our conversation. 

I told her ,"XYZ (my friend) is very good by heart". I dont think I would like me, if all my charactaer and behaviors was of any other person

My friend was surprised to hear that and seeing her being surprised. I rethought  of I had just said. A trail of thought came to my mind. However, for that moment i escaped from the conversation changing the topic. 

After i reached home, I sat and thought, why would I not like me, if I was someone else? 

Would it be the outer appearance I was not satisfied with ? or the inner side that only I know. 

Here we go, there was a debate between two aspects of me. 

Eveyone is not really good or evil, but here I am creating two aspects of me, good and evil side so that they can talk to each other and sort this out. 

I felt sense of relief and sat there to hear what my good and evil part  would conclude. 

Good :(talking to me ) It is always good to self evaluate. I am happy you are doing this. There are couple of things i would like you to know about you so that you can make this as this year's resolution and work on it. 

Evil :(Laughing) You know what, you are YOU. You can not make every one happy. I like you as a whole. so why do you want to change yourself listening to this nonsense good side of yours. I would suggest, stay being yourself. 

Me : I agree with both of you. Before jumping to any conclusion, i would like to hear both of your's part if you have to say anything (expecting good side would say anything ).

Good: Yes, I have few. First, you are introvert. I am not saying being introvert is bad but being solitary is not an excuse of being introvert. You can still open up with people upto the level you are comfortable with. 

Evil: (cuts the conversation ) Dont you understand the meaning of introvert? 

Good: Yes, I do. Introverts are someone who can't open up, who like to be left alone in the group or gatherings. They like their own company. And for god's sake, can you please not interrupt me, while i am on a flow ??

Evil nods her head. 

Good : The other is the way you take things, situation or people. I think you get the oppurtunity but fail to grab it, you need to be proactive and grasp it once you see it. There are always risk on everything. There is even risk to come out of the house, you might get hit by bus on the road. That doesnot mean you stop coming out of your house. You need to see if taking risk out weigh the benefits from it or not. 

Now the conversation was turning to serious note,  and I was sitting there nodding my head.

Good: The other part is "Be truthful to yourself and others". Always speak truth and do any deeds without negative intention. 

Even Evil side could not argue with what good side said and we finished off on a happy note . 

P.S. I wrote above piece a month ago and I thought I would try this and write the outcome before I post anything. And here I am, I feel so much better opening up with poeple and not really judging myself. And the most important lesson I learnt in past few weeks is not to think how others will view my action and rather believe on self. Trust me, it feels so good. And I am truly enjoying this phase of my life. 

LOVE TO ALL.